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Blogging and Me – our toxic relationship 😷

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Okay, so maybe the title is exaggerating the sliiiiightest bit.

the toxic part of this relationship is me ghosting on my little blog baby every few months and my blog accepting me back everytime I return and say ‘im sorry I’ll never leave you again like that’ because like really, it’s a blog, it doesn’t have much of a say in anything I do

Ever since I started this blog, I always felt like I was moving against this invisible force. I don’t know why, but I think I put a lot of personal mental pressure on myself this is a reoccurring theme in my life to make my blog the ~*best*~ it could be

And clearly, it wasn’t working.

I’m not talking about having a super beautiful, well-designed, user-friendly blog though, that is part of it or having tons of followers and readers. It was more about creating content that I was proud of and that made me happy.

And you know, if I ended up gaining friends and followers because of it, then that would be great. and spoiler alert, my posts might not have been up to par, but I did make an amazing amount of wonderful, genuine, caring friends 🥺🥺🥺 and for that I am SUPER grateful

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At first I was really happy with the content I put out. they weren’t super creative in any form. There were a lot of tags which is always so fun to do and lots of Top 10 lists but as I progressed I began to feel less and less connected to what I was putting out, which translated DIRECTLY into feeling burnt out

Since then, I have been constantly feeling like I can’t outrun the feeling of impending burnout and I was trying to understand it myself and I think I narrowed it down to a couple of reasons:

  1. I am a perfectionist and my own biggest critic.I KNOW it’s wrong but I constantly compare my weaknesses to everyone else, but I still do. And seeing so many amazingly talented, experienced, and eloquent bloggers doing EVERYTHING so much better makes me feel like I’ll never be able to reach that level of proficiency
  1. I don’t like doing things halfway.

    so when I’m in the blogging mood, I want to be able to CREATE and BLOG HOP and WRITE INTERESTING, UNIQUE posts and READ all the books but it instantly leads to me feeling SO BURNT OUT because I’m trying to be perfect at everything.

    And I seriously DO want to support and promote my fellow bloggers. I want to gush with them about books and recommend titles and keep up to date with what they’re doing and hype them up and share their posts around

    But it just makes me feel so Tired and then I end up giving up and ghosting for 4 months and I know I sound like a whiny baby because everyone is dealing with blogging and life and school and family and they’re doing it all so well but hey I’m being selfish right now ok this is about me

  1. (And then we get back to the point I made earlier) I am just generally unhappy with the content I’m creating.

    Don’t get me wrong there were a few posts that I REALLY LOVED making like my Deep Dives I seriously need to come up with a more creative name but they take a while to make, so I can’t be posting those as often as I want to. And because of this, I feel like I’m just writing posts to put content out and not because I enjoying it and when it reaches that point, blogging just turns into drudgery

    And I NEVER want it to feel like that.

  2. Also, there’s this little nagging thing in my head that I want to do a complete overhaul of my blog but I don’t understand HTML or web design AT ALL fjlkdjalfkj so that’s PROBABLY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

 

ANYWAYS

I don’t know how to solve it, but I’m going to try to because I seriously miss blogging and chatting about books and making new friends

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So I few, manageable things I can do to help me come out of this toxic relationship

  1. I want to include more of my art in my posts and on my site because art and books are SUCH a big part of my life and I want to share that with you
  2. I will continue to do “easy” type posts like Top 10s and Tags but I will try to add my own touch to make it feel more me

  3. I want to experiment with new “series” but ones that are more sustainable and don’t require me to read 48329 books beforehand
  4. I will limit a certain amount of time in which I bloghop and comment when I have something worthwhile or interesting to share/gush about
  5. I’m going to try and schedule posts throughout the month so I don’t always feel like I’m running to keep up

Its not a recipe for success and it’s not going to solve the constant pressure I put on myself but I really want to make blogging manageable and fun, I want to stop thinking about it as a chore.

And I’m seriously asking you guys if you’ve made it this far, wow you’re a hero, thank you for taking time away from your busy day to read me, whine like a toddler for 15 minutes how do you make blogging manageable? How do you keep inspired and motivated?

Any tips you share will be super helpful and appreciated.

Thanks for listening to me ramble, I’ve missed this 🥺🥺🥺 and i promise my future posts will have more fun graphics and won’t be as boring and dreary as this one.

I hope you’re doing great. I’m sorry I missed out on all your posts and wrap ups, I will be setting aside time to go back and read and comment on as many as i can.

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But in the mean time, tell me what you’ve been up to, I’d love to hear how you’re doing.

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44 thoughts on “Blogging and Me – our toxic relationship 😷”

  1. Absolutely love this! I’ve had a hard time sticking to blog series and the like too. I promised myself this year that I’d take it slow and only post what I feel comfortable with and at the time that I want. It has made my blogging a lot better than it has been before. I even tried a new reading blog series and loved it! I hope you’ll love what you create this year because your posts are amazing!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thank you so much noura 🥺🥺 your comment means so much to me and i’m so glad to hear that you’re allowing yourself some peace and comfort from blogging when you need it. THAT’S SO EXCITING!!! what is the new blog series you started? i’d love to check it out and see what you’ve been up to.💓

      Liked by 1 person

      1. THANK YOU! ❤ It’s a reading blog! I’ve always loved the reading vlogs on youtube and I wanted to do something like it but in written format. And that’s how this came to be! my first one is a reading blog of Chain of Gold (spoiler free).

        Here’s the link if you want to see it😊 : https://theperksofbeingnourablog.wordpress.com/2020/03/08/the-reading-diary-my-reading-weekend-with-chain-of-gold-a-will-herondale-book-sleeve/

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  2. This post makes me feel like I’m not alone, thank you! ❤️ I have had this blog for more than five years now but I keep going up and down with how committed I am because I get stressed or uninspired easily and then suddenly stop posting for months. At the moment I’m trying to do a kind of ‘don’t break the chain’ where I try to post every friday, no more no less. It seems to be working so far 😊. But seriously, if you find any good ways to make blogging sustainable I would be super interested.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. awww!! i’m so glad to hear that 💓 that’s awesome that you’re able to post once a week and that it’s working for you!! congrats on doing this for 5 years, that’s really so amazing. you’re doing great!! but don’t forget to be kind to yourself even if you fall a little off the schedule 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I relate to this post so much!! I can definitely understand the pressure we put on ourselves and how I want every little thing to perfect. And they are so many things to do and I can’t tell you how many times I have been burnt out through blogging and blog hopping. It is so hard to learn where that healthy balance is.
    I have also compared myself to so many bloggers and think ‘why can’t I do posts like that??’
    And some of the posts that I am really passionate about take ages to write so I end up pushing them back.
    I’m not sure I’ve learn how to handle it but I think doing what I feel like works, instead of thinking I have to do that today I wait under I genuinely want to. I try to stay a month ahead of posts so I can do this.
    And I focus on smaller goals instead a big goals which can be so overwhelming.
    I think it is a learning curve but to just focus on enjoyment and happiness really helps but at times it can be hard with all the pressure we put on ourselves, we just need to breathe at times.
    Great post and I wish you all the best and I hope blogging becomes better for you!! 💛💛

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Why do we do this to ourselves???!!!! aaaaaahh. i think comparing yourself to your peers is totally normal but it’s when we start putting ourselves down for not matching someone else’s content or ability to post, that’s when it gets unhealthy. i’m really glad to hear that you’re focusing on the smaller goals instead of the big ones, blogging really is for us and our enjoyment and we shouldn’t allow it to take over and become something tiring or harmful.

      thank you so much for your comment, it means the world to me. you’re doing amazing!! 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’d really love to see your art and I totally get what you’re saying! It’s not easy to keep a blog up and running and I think every blogger kind of feels pressured every once in a while. It’s because we love to do what we do and we just want it to be good as well. XD (I always feel like I’m kinda failing at that btw *lol*) I can only speak for myself but to schedule posts really helped me. Every two weeks I have about 5 hours in which I can work without any interruptions and I’ve started to call those days my blog office days because on those days I actually get things done. 😀 Which always makes me feel better and accomplished. I guess what it comes down to, is that you find a rhythm you can work with. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ahh thank you!! i’m trying to incorporate more art into my posts but so far i’ve managed to draw my sign off and the page breaks :p

      scheduling posts and setting specific times to work without interruptions is such great advice!! thank you so much and i’m so glad to hear that it’s working for you! may we find our rhythm and be kinder to ourselves 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  5. WAHHH MAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND THIS WAS SUCH A RELATABLE POST!!

    I’d love to see more of your art on your blog because whenever I see it on Twitter Im BLOWN AWAY by how great it is!! and don’t ever feel bad about doing “easy” posts because they are honestly so integral in making blogging sustainable for me too. I like to write a lot of book reviews as my easy post. 🙈

    I can’t wait to read more of your posts!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. TIFFANY!! I LOVE YOU MORE!!!!!

      i’m so glad you enjoyed the post 🥺🥺 and my art too omg that makes me so happy, i might just cry. thank you so much, youre my blogging icon 💖

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Aw May I’ll always support you ❤ for me this year trying to post consistently has been writing a lot of posts beforehand and scheduling, sometimes just not caring about the quality? But don't get me wrong I'm a massive perfectionist it's just that I think I've realised sometimes that not every post has to be super long and perfect for me to be able to post it. (Maybe it's just falling a bit into the trap of quantity over quality though, I don't know.) Shorter posts are definitely a good idea especially for busy periods and I'd love to see more art and personal touches :)) best of luck with whatever you try to do next on this blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cas you’re too sweet, you’re going to make me cry (and that’s not allowed) scheduling posts is definitely an absolute game changer and i’m so glad that you’re able to find a balance between super long posts and shorter posts, just to keep your blogging sanity lol
      thank you so much for your support, it truly means so much to me and i hope you’re having an amazing month, you’re doing awesome and im always proud of uuuu 💖

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I completely understand what you mean! I’m always trying to be so good at everything and then nothing works. I wanna explore new hobbies, but if I do, I’ll leave blogging behind. I barely have time between classes, extracurricular activities, internship, … And I’ve been so tired, I just wanna sleep. I haven’t yet found how I’ll do with reading and blogging in the middle of all of this. When you find the trick, I’d love to hear it! 😛 Good luck! (but yes, please, don’t burn yourself out because of this, it is, after all, a hobby, and we’re all doing our best, and that is enough. sending love on your way ❤ )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. dude, you’re doing it ALL!!! and that’s so incredible that you’re managing classes and extracurriculars and internship and just LIFE in general, you are: an inspiration.

      thank you so much 💖💖💖 you’re so sweet and kind and i honestly needed to hear that. and to you as well, you’re doing amazing!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome! And thank you so much for /your/ words!! ❤ Perhaps now I will have some time to organize my life, since my classes were suspended for now and I'm doing my internship from home. Let's see! 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Honestly, I was feeling the same way about blogging a few months ago. Chana and I noticed that we consistently were dropping off the face of the earth during our fall semester because we were putting way too much pressure on ourselves. Because blogging can get so stressful when you look at it as something you *have* to do, instead of something that you choose to do because you enjoy it.

    Right now we’re trying to be chill and accept the fact that there will be times when we can’t blog, or post something on a specific day like we planned, or blog hop all the time, because our lives are hectic. We’re hoping that now we won’t have an all or nothing attitude, and can at least post sporadically when we have the time. Because you’re so right. The blogging community is so sweet and supportive and whenever we’ve come back from unplanned hiatuses, everyone always responds so kindly! The real issue is the pressure we put on ourselves.

    I’m so happy that you’re taking the steps to make blogging less stressful, and a more enjoyable experience! I can’t wait to see your artwork on the blog and I’m just super excited that you’re back at blogging in general! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re speaking facts!!!! i’m sorry to hear that you two were both feeling so overwhelmed with blogging but i’m glad you’re giving yourself a break and being realistic about what you can accomplish (and hey, you’re doing amazing 💖)

      thank you so much for the kind words, i appreciate them so so so much. this community is truly too sweet. i can’t wait to catch up on posts and see what you’ve been up to and follow all your new posts. sending you so much love 💖

      Liked by 1 person

  9. As 2019 progressed, I left behind content I wasn’t particularly proud of and moved into creating things that I am proud of. I’m determined to continue 2020 in that pattern, and so far, I’m happy with it!! I wish you all the best as you start creating things that make you happy ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. that’s SO AMAZING!!! i’m so happy for you!! i need to bring that sort of energy into 2020. thank you so much for your kind words 💖 i hope you’re having an amazing month

      Liked by 1 person

  10. MAY I LOVE YOU AND THIS POST A LOT!! pls know that i’m always gonna be here for you 💞💕 i think it’s normal that you feel this way, because me and a lot of other bloggers do too 😂 i’m also a perfectionist, and i CONSTANTLY compare myself to other people, so this post was #relatable.

    i used to post three times a week back in those days can you believe??? but then i realized that i don’t want to post super consistently if it means that the quality of my content will suffer. and now, here we are. from putting out 10 posts a month, i went down to four😂 but i’m honestly happy with this decision because 1) i’m less stressed about writing posts now, and 2) i am more happy with the content i put out!!

    i still feel that pressure to be perfect and compare myself to other bloggers sometimes, but i’ve grown to accept that nothing is perfect:(((( a lot of my posts aren’t as good as i hoped they’d turn out to me even though i excessively edit all of them, but i’ve grown to realize that not every post i put out has to be a masterpiece and what matters is that i had fun making it:) also, other bloggers are just plain better at this blogging thing than I am, no question about it. But you know what, i’ve learned to accept that we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and it’s important to recognize the strengths instead of focusing on the weaknesses, as cheesy as that sounds.

    ^^lol idk if that above paragraph made sense or was even helpful 🥺🥺 just know that i totally get your feelings, and I’m sure a lot of people do too!! the important thing is to have fun, and as long as you’re happy, we will 110% be fine with you posting sporadically, only doing tags, etc. ahhhh just know that you’re an amazing blogger no matter what and sorry for this long comment ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HEY!! I LOVE YOU!! and there’s no need to compare yourself to everyone else bc you’re LITERALLY the blogging queen, we’re all trying to make content up to your level (i’m only speaking facts here) 💖

      that’s honestly the way to do it. getting stressed about blogging is so 2019, we’re putting that in the past. ok for real, im so happy you’re enjoying the content your putting out more. i always love love love reading your posts, theyre always so entertaining and genuine 🥺🥺

      cheesy as it sounds, you’re absolutely right. and honestly we are our own worst critics, so many of the bloggers i look up to deal with the same thing and highlight their weaknesses and like huh? we’re all just out here committing self-sabotage

      I LOVE YOUR LONG COMMENTS and you literally made my heart feel all warm and happy, so thank you for your endless support and kind words 🥺🥺💖💖 love u so much!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Ahh I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this pressure for it all to be perfect and that you’ve been feeling burned out, too. It’s so, so important to remember why you’re here and what makes you happy in blogging and, if it doesn’t, it’s good to acknowledge why and just, let go of the things that make you feel too pressured or unhappy, too, to find the right balance with everything and the way you want to do things, too. ❤ I know how hard it is to feel like everything we have to do is perfect, oh I know that too well and more often than not I pressure myself in many blogging aspects because of that, too. It's so important to remind yourself that we LOVE you and your content, no matter what, whether you need breaks or not, the ones that matter will always be there to support you. ❤
    I hope you'll find the right changes to make, maybe a little more art (yes I agree with that idea!!), posts that genuinely make you happy to write, really, that's what matters.<3
    take care of yourself!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you SO MUCH for the sweet, kind, reassuring words, marie 🥺🥺❤️ it really means so much to me!!! it’s really sad when we lose sight of ‘why’ we started blogging and it becomes more of a chore than a hobby. and that’s when you have to step back and reassess what you’re doing. I’ve definitely missed blogging and i’m trying to take it easier and not pressure myself as much. and everyone is so kind and supportive, it makes me so soft 🥺

      i hope you’re doing well too!! and that you’re having a great year and enjoying what you’re doing ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Love this post and found so much of it relatable! And no, you absolutely do NOT “sound like a whiny baby” as you put it. Remember: WE LOVE YOU and we come to your blog to hear about you and your thoughts! So never hold back your thoughts, opinions & feelings. Your blog is ultimately for you, so write whatever makes you happiest! ❤ ❤

    Hmmm, I'm not sure I have much in the way of blogging tips because I've also been struggling to squeeze in blogging. But I will say I find it relaxing to work on writing posts on weekend mornings, right after I've woken up and with a cup of coffee, before responsibilities and homework hit me. Again, not sure if that's helpful, but that's when I find it the easiest to blog!

    I hope you're able to get into a blogging groove soon! Can't wait to read more of your posts–no matter what they're about or whenever they come out 😀 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HEY YOU’RE AMAZING AND ILY!!! THANK YOU FOR THE SUPER KIND WORDS YOU’RE TOO PRECIOUS ❤️❤️❤️

      that’s honestly great advice, starting the day with some relaxing blogging and caffeine sounds wonderful. i hope you’re finding it easier to squeeze in some blogging time (but obvs, no pressure!!)

      thank you soo muchhhhh your comments always brighten up my day 🥺❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. AHHHH ❤ ❤ you're so kind and amazing too!

        ooooh, yay, I'm glad my advice sounded helpful! And thanks, fingers crossed for the both of us!

        Awww, your comments also brighten up my day and make me smile! 😀 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I have never related to a post more! I totally thought it was just me who felt this way about there blog sometimes and it is such a relief to know that everyone feels like that sometimes. I totally struggle to read new things and also post consistently and if I only do one and not the other I always feel guilty. Even if you feel like your posts are not up to your exacting standards just know that I absolutely adore your posts and they always put a smile on my face. I promised myself I would be more open and myself and my personal life and my other interests on my blog this year and I think it’s really helped me enjoy my posts so much more. Just remember that you have a whole community supporting you and we love you 🤗🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ahh i’m so glad you enjoyed reading the post!! i’m sorry to hear that you also experience these feelings but i’m here to tell you that you’re doing amazing and you’re trying your best and that’s literally ALL that matters!! ❤️ THANK YOU SO MUCH!! you’re honestly so sweet and i appreciate that so muchhhh

      i love u tooooo!! and i’m so glad to hear that you were able to find a stronger connection in your blogging this year!! so proud of you!! 🥺❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  14. okay i swore i commented on this, but that was probably when i was doing the whole -reading and not commenting bc i’m the worst and have no energy- thing, so here i go now with a comment!!

    i’m VERY VERY happy that you have made all of these goals to make sure you can continue blogging in a healthy way that doesn’t stress you out!!! not to be a s*p but i genuinely love reading your posts so much, and my day is so much more brightened with your energy infused in it. and it makes me so sad to hear that you weren’t loving the content you were making, but it also makes me all the more excited for all the new content you plan on bringing us!!! (esp when you mention your ART bc i die every time i see it)

    also i’m still very terrible at being a consistent blogger, but i guess my advice would be to mainly go easy on yourself! i know you are very critical of yourself but at least admit ONCE to yourself that despite being a grandma you’re doing a very good job of this whole blogging thing and everyone (including moi) loves what you do no matter what :o)

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